The Wait

13 Apr 2011 1 Comment

by Mandie in Daily Thoughts

I tell myself remember to breathe
My heart races
I can feel the blood slowly drain out of my face
My pores restrict

My hands. My hands are moving without my notice
rubbing together over and over as if to feel
or to remind myself that I exist

My eyes are trying to focus
through the tears
I can’t see
My mouth is dry

Everything my body is doing is for
survival.
Like a fish out of water
I find I can’t catch my breath

I am trying to take in the words
that’s it’s over
It’s over?
He says it is
Can’t take the thoughts
Can’t make them stop

But they’re untruths
I plead
Show me proof
Something to hold onto
Something that shows I have done
the ultimate betrayal

There are no words I can say
that will change his mind
No words that console

The thought of an end
before a beginning is ironic
for the life of a woman
who feels as if she’s escaped her own mental death
previous to this

Gently gathering my thoughts
and my pleads
that seem to litter the floor of my mind
I realize I have become alone
again.

Advertisement